I have meant to post for awhile but all I could get out was Hi. It has been five days since Alexander passed and I am still in a foggy state. I am so grateful for the time we were able to spend with him. He was such a little fighter! He came out crying and he had so much personality. I just melted. Love is such a powerful thing...it is amazing how you can fall so madly in love with someone in a matter of seconds. I remember the panic I felt when they took him from me to look him over....I wanted him so badly and every minute mattered. I was worried we did not have much time...but God knew different. Alexander gave me the best five hours of my life.
Now I am entering a different phase of this journey. One I am very unfamiliar with. My heartaches in a way I never knew possible. The heaviness literally weighs on my chest. I long for my son and I miss him every second of every day. There is not a minute that goes by that I dont think about him. I look at his pictures constantly and cling on to every memory. I am sad....very sad.
I am not fully ready to talk and share but I did want to post because I know so many of you have expressed concern. In the near future I will spend time talking about his birth more, the memorial service (which was beautiful), and will continue to add pictures (we have tons!).
Thank you all so much for the kind words and prayers. Sean and I appreciate all of you!
God is Good