They say grief is a lot like a roller coaster and unfortunately I didn't get a choice whether or not to get on the ride. I am on it..buckled and secured. But the grief coaster is like that Disney World Coaster - it is pitch black and goes upside down and all around! Because it's dark you don't know when the end is near or when the ride will stop. That is how I am feeling. I am on a wild ride that I dont know when or where it is going to stop.I enjoy the moments when I think there is a light peaking through. A light I interpret as hope. There are other times when it is so dark , there is a pain in the pit of my stomach and I cannot even fathom it will ever end. That darkness I interpret as hopelessness. The jerking curves, steep drops, and slow climbs all represent to me the battle between the two - hope vs. hopelessness.
Just some of my thoughts today but like I said, I am not a fan of roller coasters and I want off!.